Unf--k Your Brain

I'm being all self-congratulatory here. My clients do all of the fucking work. I'm just the coach. I hold up the huge banner that says, run this way, forest, at the proper end zone. I've been in the mental health field for enough decades now for you to say, damn, you old. I can tell you that our current understanding of trauma is fairly new. Several years ago, I worked for a program that was the first in town to run trauma recovery groups. In these groups, I saw that focusing on working through trauma histories rather than the labels we attached to them, depression, anxiety, addiction, et cetera, helped people get better. Since that time, I trained in several more trauma treatment modalities and helped several agencies and programs move into using a trauma-informed treatment model. I'm currently working in private practice and my focus is on relationships and intimacy. Guess what the biggest issue I run into is? Trauma history. It rears its ugly head up everywhere. I found that when I explained everything that was going on in a way that was simple, my clients would say, oh, shit, that makes sense. This book exists because nobody else had smushed together all the stuff in a way that's simple and practical. And I have seen how understanding how all this shit helps people figure out the getting better part way more quickly. This may be bad for Vince's, but I don't think everybody needs therapy. I hope everyone includes some kind of wellness work in their lives, but we all have to find the route that makes the most sense for us. Some people meditate, some people exercise, some people have a life coach, and some people see a therapist. Some people do something entirely different, and it's all good because, hey, you do you. Whatever that ends up being, I'm convinced that everything works better if you understand the why part and the end goal of doing things differently, whatever that thing may be. Who is this book for? This book is for the people who ask, but why, all the time. The people who annoyed the crap out of the adults around them when they were little kids by asking questions about how the world worked so they could understand their place in it because the why is really needful information. This book is for all the people who fucking hate being told what to do by other people, who just want the tools and the information they need to figure out what to do for themselves. You may be figuring this shit out by yourself or with a rockstar therapist who knows better than to boss you around. Either way, you know that you are in charge of your own fucking life when it comes down to it because you are sure as hell responsible for all the consequences. This book is for the people who are fucking tired of hearing or thinking that they are just crazy or stupid or lazy or too sensitive or just need to get over themselves. Who are tired of feeling bad, but even more tired of other people thinking they enjoy feeling bad. Like anyone would choose misery. Like they think you're just refusing to get better. Like you wanna be miserable. Of fucking course you don't, but you've been stuck and with no idea why. So this book is about the why you are miserable so you can do something about it. What is gonna happen in this book? So okay, you're thinking that's all well and good, fancy doctor lady. How is this book going to help? What makes this book all kinds of special and different from the 11 billion other self-help books toppling off my bookshelves already? I'm skeptical as fuck right now. Word, you should be. My bookshelves are crammed full too. I probably read most everything you've read. This book is different for serious. First step, I'm gonna lay some science on you. Not complex, dry, boring as a box of rock science, but holy shit, that makes sense. How come no one ever explained it to me like that before, science? I found in my private practice that it doesn't take 12 years of college and $200,000 of student loan debt to understand this shit. I can generally explain what you need to know about what's going on with the brain in about five to 10 minutes or an equal number of written pages as the case may be. Second, I'm not gonna lay all this brain science shit on you and then say, yep, that's fucked up, sucks to be you, and walk away. I'm gonna go through a lot of advice that's actually practical and doable for getting better. Not everyone has time for an eat, pray, love type of retreat, and clearly I'm not jealous or anything. Most of us have to get up every day, deal with real life, and try to figure out the getting better part during that process. Getting better doesn't mean you don't have to keep doing your own laundry, so we're gonna DIY this shit like rock stars. Because you know what? The situation isn't hopeless. You aren't hopeless. Getting better happens. And if you were a client in my office, we would be wrestling these demons back into submission together.