Parenting Middle Schoolers Made Easy

We have learned the art of instilling freedom into our tweens attending middle schools. Now it is time to help them learn from their mistakes. From a very young age, we have learned that when you fall off a bike, you brush off the dirt, get back on, and try again. This is called resilience, the never-giving-up mentality or attitude. Raising resilient children empowers them to tackle different and challenging situations in middle school and beyond. Resilience and flexibility go hand in hand. Flexibility, which supports the development of resilience, is thinking about situations, people, etc. in different scenarios and with different perspectives. A flexible mindset lets children handle disappointments, challenges, and successes in healthy ways. It also helps children come up with creative solutions to problems. Encountering challenges is part of life. The key is not to be defeated by them while trying to be resilient and flexible. You can help your child successfully navigate life's challenges and make parenting easier for you once your child develops resilience and an adaptable mindset. Navigate Change and Uncertainty Lynn Lyons, a licensed social worker and psychotherapist, states, quote, We have become a culture of trying to ensure our children are comfortable. We as parents are trying to stay one step ahead of everything our tweens and teenagers will encounter. With a problem, life doesn't work that way, end quote. Lyons also says that our job as parents is to help children handle uncertainty and solve problems, and that's how they can learn to be resilient. Below are key methods through which you can help your child become more resilient. One, don't accommodate all of your child's requests. For example, if they ask for wishes that cannot be fulfilled, help them understand with a loving talk. If it's simply outside your budget to pay for two Taylor Swift concert tickets, explain money management basics instead of dismissing your daughter's request and explain prioritizing needs over wants. Two, let them experience controlled risks to learn about dangers in the world and how to deal with them. Three, teach your child problem-solving skills. Whenever you are with your children, casually mention some problems and then ask for solutions such as how they can solve them. Four, when your child makes a mistake, ask how they will fix it instead of why it happened. Five, please don't give your child all the answers. Instead, let them address questions and doubts independently. If they ask questions like, what happens if we do this? Or what happens if we do that? Instead of telling them everything immediately, let them delve into it and figure it out independently. When riding a bicycle, they might ask, what if we pedal too fast? You can ask them, why don't you try? What will happen? You can catch your child from the back when they are about to fall. You let your child explore and learn while being there for them. Six, encourage and model resilience as much as you can. Allow them to do things independently and experience mistakes and failures within reason. For example, encourage them to try out for school sports teams, and they might get rejected. Tell your children rejection is part of life. What is important is getting back up and trying again. Ask them to do some yard work or cook in the kitchen. They will make some mistakes. As long as they learn from their mistakes and continue, you are helping them build resilience.