The Summer I Turned Pretty

We'd been driving for about 7,000 years, or at least that's how it felt. My brother, Steven, drove slower than our grandma. I sat next to him in the passenger seat with my feet up on the dashboard. Meanwhile, my mother was passed out in the back seat. Even when she slept, she looked alert, like at any second she could wake up and direct traffic. Go faster, I urged Steven, poking him in the shoulder. Let's pass that kid on the bike. Steven shrugged me off. Never touch the driver, he said, and take your dirty feet off my dashboard. I wiggled my toes back and forth. They looked pretty clean to me. It's not your dashboard. It's gonna be my car soon, you know. If you ever get your license, he scoffed. People like you shouldn't even be allowed to drive. Hey, look, I said, pointing out the window. That guy in the wheelchair just lapped us. Steven ignored me, and so I started to fiddle with the radio. One of my favorite things about going to the beach was the radio stations. I was as familiar with them as I was with the ones back home. And listening to Q94 made me just really know inside that I was there, at the beach. I found my favorite station, the one that played everything from pop to oldies to hip hop. Tom Petty was singing Free Falling. I sang right along with him. She's a good girl, crazy bad Elvis. Loves horses and her boyfriend, too. Steven reached over to switch stations, and I slapped his hand away. Belly, your voice makes me wanna run this car into the ocean. He pretended to swerve right. I sang even louder, which woke up my mother, and she started to sing, too. We both had terrible voices, and Steven shook his head in his disgusted Steven way. He hated being outnumbered. It was what bothered him most about our parents being divorced, being the lone guy without our dad to take his side. We drove through town slowly, and even though I just teased Steven about it, I didn't really mind. I loved this drive, this moment. Seeing the town again, Jimmy's Crab Shack, the Putt-Putt, all the surf shops. It was like coming home after you'd been gone a long, long time. It held a million promises of summer, and of what just might be. As we got closer and closer to the house, I could feel that familiar flutter in my chest. We were almost there. I rolled down the window and took it all in. The air tasted just the same, smelled just the same. The wind making my hair feel sticky, the salty sea breeze, all of it felt just right, like it had been waiting for me to get there. Steven elbowed me. Are you thinking about Conrad? He asked mockingly. For once, the answer was no. No, I snapped. My mother stuck her head in between our two seats. Belly, do you still like Conrad? From the looks of things last summer, I thought there might be something between you and Jeremiah. What, you and Jeremiah? Steven looked sickened. What happened with you and Jeremiah? Nothing, I told them both. I could feel the flush rising up from my chest. I wished I had a tan already to cover it up. Mom, just because two people are good friends, it doesn't mean there's anything going on. Please never bring that up again. My mother leaned back into the back seat. Done, she said. Her voice had that note of finality that I knew Steven wouldn't be able to Because he was Steven, he'd try it anyway. What happened with you and Jeremiah? You can't say something like that and not explain. Get over it, I told him. Telling Steven anything would only give him ammunition to make fun of me. And anyway, there was nothing to tell. There had never been anything to tell. Not really. Conrad and Jeremiah were Beck's boys. Beck was Susanna Fisher, formerly Susanna Beck. My mother was the only one who called her Beck. They'd known each other since they were nine. Blood sisters, they called each other. And they had the scars to prove it. Identical marks on their wrists that looked like hearts. Susanna told me that when I was born, she knew I was destined for one of her boys. She said it was fate. My mother, who didn't normally go in for that kind of thing, said it would be perfect, as long as I'd had at least a few loves before I settled down. Actually, she said lovers, but that word made me cringe.